Swedish cannibal and vampire to marry in; bloody hell!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Wednesday, 1 February 2012

image for Swedish cannibal and vampire to marry in; bloody hell!
He can't wait until the happy pair join him for dinner in hell!

A self-confessed cannibal and his vampire mistress have asked their psychiatric institute in Sweden if they can get married and live the rest of their bloody lives together (promises to be pretty short lives!).

The cannibal, enjoyed chewing the flesh of his past partner and his vampire bride-to-be, enjoyed drinking the blood of her dad after cutting him up in tiny pieces, hence, the reason why they're both locked up in the local loony bin. Charming pair and welcome guests at any Halloween party.

Whilst proposing to his vampire, she slit open her pulse and he enjoyed a pint of best blood (not bitter), she in turn cut off a piece of his multi-pierced ear and stuck it in the frying pan and they both enjoyed a brunch including "ear on toast with bacon butties sliced off of her tender butt, yummy!"

Instead of the loony bin priest, they have requested that a High Priest of a local witches cauldron should host the ceremony, give them both Satan's blessing, share a piece of freshly cut liver, human please, and then they can both stare at the full moon while sucking each other dry.

The chances of them enjoying a silver wedding anniversary are pretty slim, obviously. With her appetite for fresh blood and his appetite for human flesh they might last at least six months together, AMEN!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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