Osama Bin Laden opens comedy festival

Funny story written by Lance.D.Boyle

Wednesday, 22 February 2006

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A smashing good time had by all at the 'Extremist Comedy Week'

Osama bin Laden officially opened Extremist Comedy Week in Kabul, Afghanistan today. The funniest guys and gals from some of the hottest acts/ comedy clubs from around the area rocked to the festival to support "Extremist Stand Up Comedy/Film Night". The streets of Kabul were packed as thousands, cheered and danced their way in a colourful parade of brown, black and white. Above the melee, the air was thick with lead from the gunfire of AK-47's and Colt AR-15s giving an almost surreal feel to the celebrations.

The crowd made their way through the streets, burning most things that were combustible, and smashing what wouldn't burn ,then made their way into the Soccer Stadium, where a quick beheading and a few stonings really got the crowd going.

Osama opened the stand up part of the night with some hilarious impersonations of Bush, Blair and the crew.
His performance piece in 'mime' about playing hide and seek with Bush and Rumsfield absolutely brought the house down.

At interval, a group of Danish cartoonists entertained the crowd with caricatures of just about every famous deity you can imagine. There were moments when they had the audience positively howling for them.

The second part of the night Osama and the President of Iran did a sensational double act akin to Laural and Hardy in their prime, including the usual "take my wives" jokes.

Osama had this journo in "stiches" when he sang his famous rendition "The hills are alive with special forces" from the film "The Sound of Taliban".
Osama bin Laden once again showed why he is one of the funniest and most sought after guys to come out of the Middle East in a long time. At times a very shy and almost reclusive man, he is known to take long walks in the mountains and not be seen for days..months..sometimes years! But every one knows that when Osama comes back down he will have new material that'll "blow you away".

Then it was on to the film section, some hilarious footage from "Honey I blew up the Buddha," A very funny piece about a couple of rascal Taliban who blow up a pair of Buddhists statues that are thousands of years old. "Dude where's my Car bomb" another comedy ,a story of a couple Taliban boys having a big night, out to become martyrs and pick up 70 virgins on the way.

Lastly a stirring piece called "My best friend likes beheading" a truly sensitive piece of film shot on hand held digital, about two friends part of a group that just want to behead infidels.

To close the ceremony another stoning of a woman in a Burkha and an execution by automatic gunfire to the back of the head, and I for one was heading for the exit.
As I looked back, the stadium erupted in chanting and gunfire, what a night!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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