European Union to close down martial arts

Funny story written by A.Snow

Saturday, 1 October 2011

image for European Union to close down martial arts

All forms of martial arts including Karate, Kung-Fu, Jiu-Jitsu and Judo to be banned across Europe because of the violent influence on children in Europe. These sports encourage violence and enrages children to fight each other. The European Union came to this conclusion after a 60% raise in street fighting between under 18s. This goes as low as 8 years old.

The European Union came to this decision after The Guardian published an article about eight year old children fighting each other professionally. This can be found on the internet.

The European Union released this official statement:

'This violence is unacceptable and unless someone knuckles down on it it shall become a huge problem and murder and gang violence will raise making the death rate even higher. Of course we understand we can't get rid of these martial arts all together e.g. Private clubs but all resources and registered clubs will be shut down and any private clubs found will be fined up to £2000.

This ban will be coming into place in the next few months starting with the United Kingdom which is hoped to be clear of the martial arts by July next year.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more