'Dodgy pylons' behind UN human frights commissioner's Dale Farm advice

Funny story written by queen mudder

Monday, 19 September 2011

image for 'Dodgy pylons' behind UN human frights commissioner's Dale Farm advice
Madcap legal advice blamed on toxic federalist nonsense

Essex - Mind control experts today blamed warped subliminal messages broadcast by pylons for 'daft' UN eviction advice to Dale Farm pikeys.

The high voltage electricity transmitters are said to be 'notorious' for their mind-bending effects, considered by World Health Organization toxicologists as on a par with LSD, magic mushrooms and peyote.

Their effect on a UN bureaucrat's advice was being cited today at an emergency session of the UK National Poisons Unit which heard 'evidence' of monumental crass stupidity in the Essex traveller stand-off.

False hope had been given to eviction protesters who had been advised their illegal occupation of the Dale Farm site was a justifiable cause 'akin to the Brits Out Of Northern Ireland' campaigns of yesteryear.

The Unit was shown photos of the Human Frights adviser's office surrounded by electricity pylons suspected of beaming federalist EU nonsense directly to apparatchick's (sic) temporal lobe implants.

The same transmission system apparently links several PIIGS - Portugal/Ireland/Italy/Greece/Spain - member states' law officers who recently urged EU High Representative Barrenness Ashton to 'raise an EU army' in the fight for the near-bankrupt Eurozone.

"All it will take is one almighty downpour to scatter these deluded pikeys from their chained barricades," an Essex bailiffs' source commented.

"As for the UN human frights officer's legal advice we have an excellent sub-station deprogramming device that we'd be more than happy to plug into his er, circuit."

The eviction protest continues.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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