Jimmy Hoffa's Rib Bone Found In Obama's "Uncle Omar" X-Rays: Remains To Be Seen Before Charges Pressed

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Wednesday, 7 September 2011

image for Jimmy Hoffa's Rib Bone Found In Obama's "Uncle Omar" X-Rays: Remains To Be Seen Before Charges Pressed
Jimmy Hoffa I Presume

CHICAGO: On July 30, 1975, Teamster president Jimmy Hoffa disappeared from the face of the earth. Until yesterday his disappearance remained a mystery. Although he had many enemies who had reason to kill him, Chicago police and the FBI were unable to find Hoffa's remains or arrest any suspects in this case.

Although all but his family had given up any hope of finding him or his remains, by a million-to-one chance, police in Plymouth, Massachusetts arrested Onyango Obama, the long lost uncle of President Obama, on a charge of driving under the influence. "Uncle Omar," as he is known, was found to be illegally in the United States. The White House said the president was unaware that his uncle was in the country illegally.

Interestingly, during the 2008 campaign, Zeituni Onyango - Obama's aunt - was found living as an illegal immigrant in public housing in South Boston. She was denied political asylum, but after a series of appeals, she was granted a waiver of deportation in 2010.

Connecting the dots, one might find it suspicious that Barack Obama is the only one of the Obamas to be found a citizen.

Anyway, back to Uncle Omar. As part of a routine background inspection that TSA requires of all illegal immigrants of African descent, ostensibly to filter out possible cannibals entering the United States, X-rays of the man's stomach were taken. Lo and behold, in the lower portion of the large intestine, lodged perhaps some 37 years ago, was a rib bone. Suspicious of the finding, police had a surgeon remove the bone and a portion was used for DNA screening.

Upon linking up with a data base of unsolved crimes, BINGO! The results showed that the rib bone was from the body of Jimmy Hoffa. It was subsequently established that Omar had been living in Chicago back in 1975. Although he probably will not be charged for having anyting to do with Hoffa's disappearance, he could be charged with unlawfully disposing of a carcass; a misdemeanor that is beyond the statue of limitations.

SIDE NOTE: Ironically, this past Labor Day, about 37 years after Jimmy Hoffa disappeared, Omar's nephew, Barack Obama, stood on the same stage with Jimmy Hoffa's son. They were both there for a Teamster Union pep-rally. How crazy is that?

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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