HARFOLD, Vermont--Upon hearing the news that an HIV-positive adult film performer has shut down the production of pornographic films in California, several male residents in Harfold State College's Looner Hall (otherwise known as "Geek Dorm") plunged themselves into a drunken binge.
As junior Barton Wheetley, who was sporting an ice pack on his head because of a splitting hangover, admitted, "I guess we'd mistakenly assumed that they'd suspend Internet porn sites, too."
Said senior Huron Oaks, "We were so intent on drowning our sorrows in whiskey, no one bothered to fire up our favorite sites until the day after.
"But all is well again."
