Written by Nash D. Plott

Tuesday, 30 August 2011

Sarah Palin, the former governor of Alaska and possible presidential hopeful, is said to be investing in a Smart Car in a bid to create a public profile for herself as an eco-friendly candidate.

Palin's reputation on environmental issues has drawn criticism. Seen as a staunch supporter of the oil industry, Palin has fought to secure drilling rights for oil companies in locations deemed to be environmentally sensitive, and has consistently denied any relationship between the use of fossil fuels and the current world problems with global warming. This makes her decision to drive a Smart Car curious in the eyes of her supporters.

When questioned about the decision Palin was fast to offer an explanation. "In the interest of finding alternative sources of energy to keep America away from dependence on foreign oil, I have decided to drive a car that depends upon nuclear energy". When reporters pointed out that the Smart car is actually a conventional gasoline vehicle powered by a three cylinder gas engine, Palin looked confused then conferred briefly with advisors. In a clarifying statement Palin said that "Electricity is used in the production of fossil fuel resources, and some of that electricity is generated from nuclear energy. Therefore my original statement stands, despite yet another misleading 'gotcha' question from the radical left-wing press"

Palin's move towards 'green' is seen as a new development in her campaign. Palin has tabled several new environmental initiatives including a switch from the US gallon to the Imperial gallon, which will immediately give American vehicles a 20% boost in gas mileage, driving pickup trucks with the tailgate down (a controversial strategy recently discredited by the USA television program 'Mythbusters') and driving instead of walking to the swimming pool. Says Palin, "Car pooling is sometimes inconvenient what with all the water on the seats, but if it saves polar bears then it's an American thing to do".

Palin's new move to enviro-friendliness has been well received by Republicans seeking a slightly softer and socially acceptable environmental message without any radical shift in policy. As for Palin herself, the ex-governor is anxiously awaiting the delivery of her new Smart car. "It really does make you smarter," quips Palin, "although somehow I always seem to drift to the right". When asked what color the new vehicle would be Palin laughed. "Republican Red, of course, just like Harry Truman".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Sarah Palin

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