Written by Lyndon

Wednesday, 24 August 2011

image for Weight-loss campers cause earthquake scare while doing step aerobics
Director Kroeller surveys the damage after being "quaked" from his afternoon nap

LONGFIELD, Virginia--A ground-shaking that registered 5.9 on the Richter scale was thought by many inhabitants of the U.S. eastern seaboard to be an earthquake. In point of fact, the quaking was caused by 129 female teen participants in Camp Sunshine, a weight-loss camp in Longfield, Virginia.

The girls had been instructed by their counselor to jump off their steps with both feet at the end of their last song of their workout session, "Womanizer," by Britney Spears.

"When Britney uttered 'womanizer baby' at the end," said counselor Laura Dolan, "the girls happily jumped in unison off their steps, high into the air, and stamped their feet into the pavement. It was then that we felt the ground move."

"I guess what they say about a billion Chinamen jumping off a chair at the same time could be true," said camp director Skat Kroeller.

Local authorities estimate that the girls' communal jump brought down some 12-plus tons onto the lower parking lot at Longfield Regional High School, the site of Camp Sunshine. The camp has been asked to find another fun, but safer way to end its workouts.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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