Written by Juvenal Delinquent

Sunday, 10 July 2011

image for Casey Anthony Jurors Ask Judge if They Can 'Take it Back'

ORLANDO, FL - In yet another shocking twist for a case that has gripped the nation, the 12 jurors who voted to acquit Casey Anthony of all murder charges in the death of her daughter Caylee, appear to be more than just "sick to their stomachs", and have sent a formal request in writing to Judge Belvin Perry asking whether or not it's too late to "take it back."

According to sources within the Orange County Courthouse, the petition purportedly states that they (the jurors) admit to not spending enough time during deliberations to really review all the evidence and, now that they've finally had a few days to think it over carefully, would like to rescind their votes of "not guilty".

It is not known whether or not the request to rescind involves all charges against Ms. Anthony, or just the first degree murder charge, but experts who have been following the trial and its aftermath closely, say that it is likely the jurors want to vote "guilty" on the manslaughter charge only. Since most of the evidence, although compelling, is still circumstantial, it is doubtful their change of heart includes sending Ms. Anthony to death row.

The experts do point out, however, that they're not surprised at all by move, as it is obvious that even if Ms. Anthony didn't plan to murder her daughter, not contacting authorities until 31 days after she allegedly went missing would certainly point to aggravated child abuse at best and, the fact that she lied to investigators over and over again certainly implies some form of guilt even if the death was accidental as her defense claims. Otherwise, why try to cover it up.

Luckily, the state of Florida does have a seven-day grace period after rendering a verdict in capital cases should juries suddenly decide to change their minds. However, the law also stipulates that it is up to the judge's discretion to approve it, and it remains to be seen whether or not Judge Perry will grant their request.

Several of the jurors, many of whom have yet to reveal their identities to the media, spoke on condition of anonymity, stated that they regretted acquitting Ms. Anthony of all charges, and now believe it is beyond all reasonable doubt that she was somehow involved in her daughter's death.

One juror was quoted as saying, "I can't sleep. Nothing works. Not even sleeping pills. I even thought about using chloroform, and then it suddenly hit me. Oh my God, she's not innocent. I just can't live with myself knowing that I've played a part in letting that bitch go free."

Another juror seconded those thoughts and added, "we've all been racked with guilt since the verdict, and I pray there's still time to do the right thing and send her back to prison. I don't know what we were thinking. Maybe we just weren't paying attention."

The defense team issued a statement condemning the jury's request, saying in part that, "they, the jury, should have thought about the ramifications of their verdict ahead of time. If they didn't think she was innocent, then they should have said so in the courtroom, not after realizing that most of the country thinks they're crazy."

Prosecutor Jeffrey Ashton said he was gratified, but not surprised by the request, as he's seen several juries change their minds over the years. "It's quite common actually, especially in capital murder cases like this. Jurors often get confused with what reasonable doubt means, and simply fail to use common sense", he said.

Due to the high profile nature of the case, and that fact that those who've been following the trial think that this was a grave injustice on the level of O.J. Simpson, it's very likely Judge Perry will honor the request before it expires next week.

Calls to Judge Perry's office for comment have so far gone unanswered.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: casey anthony

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.

Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
60 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more