Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Tuesday, 21 June 2011

image for Wife Crazy Glues Weiner To Bed So He Can't Pole Vault Out Without Arousing Her
Weiner Glue

THE WEINER REPORT: Huma Abedin and Representative Anthony Weiner were married in the garden of Oheka Castle on Long Island in a ceremony officiated by President William Jefferson Clinton approximately 11 months ago. Huma, who is a long time aid to Hillary Clinton, wore a gown designed by Oscar de la Renta.

Noting how Weiner is Jewish, Abdein is Muslim and Clinton is Christian, this was perhaps the most significant interfaith ceremony since Eliot Spitzer confessed his transgressions next to his Christian wife on National televison last year.

Possibly having some premonition of his character flaws, she wisely chose not to hyphenate her name with his Weiner. Although the Congressman suggested that Huma was aware of his uninhibited sexting and pecker postings, she told friends that she was blindsided by her lecherous husband.

Huma, taking a cue from Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, who it was reported took her under her bat wings during the two week period Weiner was twisting in the wind, told friends that Weiner's addiction was so deep-seeded that she had to crazy glue his weiner to the bed frame at night, just so that she could sleep knowing that he couldn't pole vault out of bed without waking her up.

This technique, she claims, was first developed and used by Hillary on Slick Willy after he was caught with his pants down in the Oval Office with Monica Lewinsky; a trick of the trade that Hillary claims was passed down to her by Jacqueline Kennedy.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
106 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more