Wednesday, 8 June 2011

image for Larry O'Mara Given an Honorary Harvard Psychology Degree
Larry's Bar and Grill

Cambridge MA: Larry O'Mara the owner of Larry's Bar and Grill, a working class tavern in this city, was presented an honorary PHD degree in psychology by Harvard University. The degree was in recognition of Larry's counseling people in his establishment for over 50 years.

A typical story of Larry's ability to alleviate problems was when one evening Charlie O'Malley entered the premises, sat at the bar and ordered a club soda. Larry said "haven't seen you in a while, on the wagon again?"

"Yep, doctor says I got to quit drinking, smoking and eating junk food for my physical health, but my mental state is pretty bad" replied Charlie.

Larry thought for a moment then said "Charlie you were always a happy drunk, sober at work, who walks home or takes a taxi to avoid accidents, treats your wife and kids with respect, generous to everyone and everybody loves you! What happened?"

Charlie explained "since being sober, stopping smoking and eating tofu snacks I've noticed my wife is a nag, my kids are failing in school, the country is in debt nearing $15 trillion, my job is in jeopardy, inflation is rising, gasoline prices are going through the roof and it appears everything else is going to hell in a hand basket. I'm even considering becoming a Republican!"

Larry reached for a bottle of Kentucky bourbon pouring two stiff drinks, placed a bowl of salted peanuts, a pack of cigarettes and a copy of the Boston Globe on the bar, remarking "here's mud in your eye Charlie and I'll call for a taxi in two hours!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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