Earthquakes Felt Around Austin

Funny story written by Ellie James

Monday, 30 May 2011

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Hippies are tired of the Governors thoughts.

Austin, Texas - Slight earthquakes were felt all around Austin in recent weeks as Governor Rick Perry thought about running for President. While Perry himself is non-committal on the issue, he has some apparent fans in the Texas Hispanic Republican Conference, which consists of six Texas Congressmen.

Residents of Austin were not amused because they really aren't accustomed to earthquakes. Austin in recent years has become a Mecca for California transplants because they are tired of earthquakes and the never-ending speculation that California will fall off the earth one day. "He should stop thinking. He hasn't put much thought into anything else, why this? Why now?" muses recent California transplant Kenneth Browne.

Most Texans would agree, the Governor doesn't put a lot of thought into a lot of things, other than what beer he will have at the popular Saxon Pub on Sixth Street.

Seismologists were also taken aback as they aren't accustomed to seismic activity of any nature being attributed to thinking. According to seismographs, the epicenters of the small quakes have occurred just under the direct location of the Governor each time he has thought of running for President. His GPS device on his smart phone further proves this fact.

While it's been quoted that some Republicans like the notion of Rick Perry running for office, as he's never actually lost an election, not a lot can really be attributed to the Governor. Election historians all agree that his winning streak has more to do with Texans just being confused when Kinky Friedman decides to run for Governor.

Rick Perry also has the endorsement of Rush Limbaugh, as well as lawmakers from California. While it's a mystery why Limbaugh thinks the Governor is a good political candidate, it is clear that California lawmakers had a great time partying with Perry at Saxon Pub after his educational and entertaining slideshow explaining why Texas has a larger GNP that Russia.

There are also several comedians who are secretly hoping he will at the very least run for President of the United States because of his nickname "Slick Rick." While no comedian will talk to us on record, it's been said that comedians the world over haven't been this excited since President Richard Nixon's nick name "Tricky Dick."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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