Bin Laden Black Box Recovered By Divers In Arabian Sea

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Tuesday, 3 May 2011

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Black Box Found

Al Jazeera reported today that Pakistani divers in a submerged recovery vessel located the black box of Osama bin Laden some two miles below the surface of the North Arabian Sea.

Using coordinates from orbiting satellites, they traced the route of USS Carl Vinson and were able to determine where the body of bin Laden crashed into the Arabian Sea from the carrier's deck. This body of water can range in depth from 8970 to 15262 feet.

After dismantling this water-tight box, forensic investigators should be able to determine if the body of the terrorist hit the water head first or feet first and at what velocity it hit the ocean's surface after being shoved off the deck of the nuclear powered carrier, USS Carl Vinson.

This information is important because Islamic burial rites specify that the body of the deceased should enter the water head first and facing Mecca. A spokesperson for the State Department, mindful of offending Islamic burial protocol, said they they would be reviewing videos of the burial at sea to determine if the procedure was Kosher.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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