Bin Laden is ALIVE! Or, is he?

Funny story written by Daniel Wolf

Tuesday, 3 May 2011

Following yesterdays cross-country celebrations, over the reported demise, of Osama Bin Laden, an anonymous source has sent the media a tape, which shows some surprising information.

The video appears to show a sort-of American Idol style competition, in which each contestant strives to look, act, and talk, like Mr. Bin Laden.

Viewing one man's audition was particularly humorous, for this reporter.

In interview number 17, on the tape, a man, with a most ample "spare tire", comes on-screen, in a beard which doesn't seem to want to stay in place, and wearing an actual bed-sheet, from a local, low-rent motel, (The name of the motel is printed into the edge of the sheet).
The man then makes noises, which I am not sure are even words, even in Arabic.

Interview number 15 ends abruptly, as well. Seems the actor forgot that desert people have darker skin, than we Americans. Without the make-up, the man would, never, pass for a desert person.

Interview number 21 has to be my favorite, of the film.

A SHORT person, dressed so much like Osama that, had the person been taller, they might have gotten the acting job. This reporter was even impressed with the fact that the actor was able to speak passable Arabic. Too bad that, when the bed-sheet caught, on the stage floor, the actor was exposed as being a woman.

In the video, soon to be released to the major media, this reporter counted about 100, or so, members of the movie extra's union, getting dressed in muslim extremist "uniforms", being issued automatic weapons, and practicing shouting "Allah is GREAT! Death to America".

This reporter just hopes that, when this video is released, that the directors voice, saying "More Feeling. You are supposed to be American Hating terrorist radicals. Now, lets try it, again, and this time, act like you MEAN the words".

In the final scene, the camera seems to zoom in on a table-top model, which looks like a military reservation, only on small scale.

Two, un-identifed men are discussing tne model, discussing how "real" it looks, versus how "real" it SHOULD look.

To this reporters un-trained eye, the place looks as ominous as any militant dictators compound could look.

Still, the men seem to talk about adding additional machine gun nests, guard towers, and so on. At one point, one of the men says "Remember, it is supposed to look REAL, when it is on television. If it doesn't scare, on television, then it WONT scare any thrill-seekers away."

Let me see what all of this adds up to.

An Osama Bin Laden look-a-like competition, Extra's made to look, and act like insurgents, and a scale model, of a military compound.

Unless this is all just a movie set, this reporter is baffled.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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