Arkansas Man Arrested for Setting Up A Fake "Pat Down" Scam at The Mrs. Billy Clinton Airport In Hot Springs

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 4 April 2011

image for Arkansas Man Arrested for Setting Up A Fake "Pat Down" Scam at The Mrs. Billy Clinton Airport In Hot Springs
A blacked-out photo of fake pat down inspector agent Bucky "Buck" Fippyquack.

HOT SPRINGS, Arkansas - Airport security guards apprehended an individual identified as Bucky "Buck" Fippyquack, 42, at The Mrs. Billy Clinton Airport in Hot Springs.

One of the security guards Conway Earl Strayfoil said that he and his partner Earl Nathan Hucksterhooper noticed that Mr. Fippyquack had set up a card table, two chairs, and a tray of complimentary cornbread and was actually able to convince several of the female passengers to submit to a TSA pat down.

Fippyquack, who lists his profession as an unemployed door-to-door used mannequin salesman, was able to obtain the needed false credentials by logging onto the Internet and going to the site

One of the passengers whom Fippyquack was able to pat down before he was caught was Lolly "Lollipop" Prandocky, 43, of Little Rock, Arkansas.

Miss Prandocky said that when she was told that she would have to submit to a pat down that he cooperated fully because the agent looked so honest and he was wearing an "I Like Oprah Winfrey" button.

Another passenger, Kitty Beth Bonifate, 29, of Arkadelphia, Arkansas, stated that Mr. Fippyquack looked like a very honest man who even offered her one of his three orange marmalade cupcakes. But Graziola Gigglemoon, 31, of Hot Springs, said that she became quite suspicious when she was asked to submit to the pat down since she works as an airport cleaning woman and she was actually pushing a water pale with a mop in it.

Miss Gigglemoon, a former 2nd runner up in The 2007 Miss Hot Springs Hog Calling Festival & Beauty Pageant said she quickly informed her immediate supervisor who called airport security.

Upon checking the airport security surveillance cameras they found that Mr. Fippyquack had been plying his illegal pat down inspections undetected for three days and it involved a total of 37 passengers including two males.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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