Daddy Warbucks Makes a Killing in Iraq

Funny story written by Evan Essence

Monday, 26 September 2005

image for Daddy Warbucks Makes a Killing in Iraq

Little Johnny wanted a machine gun in his Christmas stocking. Little Cindy hoped to find a grenade thrower under her Christmas tree.

For more than a year and a half, there has been a non-stop Christmas party, on Capitol Hill, with the sounds of rejoicing, by lobbyists, in the Halls of Congress:

Deck the halls with boughs of holly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Tis the season to be jolly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

And Jolly Old Saint Nicholas has been more than kind to all of the poor cronies of the Military-Industrial Complex, who had lost 'Their Share of the Pie', when the end of the Cold War rendered their services unneccessary.

And now the Christmas Pie belongs to them!

How sweet it is when our system of 'Checks and Balances' swings so far in one direction, that one party controls both Houses of Congress, and the presidency as well.... When the Supreme Court picks the president, and the president picks the Supreme Court.

And what a juicy pie it is! Unlimited funds to be spent, which otherwise have no purpose, than to fund such programs as FEMA, Medicare, Highway Maintenance, and Social Security.

Immediately following the bombing of Iraq, a secret task force in the Bush Administration picked Halliburton to receive a noncompetitive contract for up to seven billion dollars to rebuild Iraq's oil operations.

Follow me in merry measure,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
While I tell of Yuletide treasure,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.


And the payback for Bush campaign donors goes on:

Bechtel Group recieved contracts worth $1.03 billion.
Morrison-Knudsen signed on for $500,000,000
Lockheed Martin, Boeing, and Northrop Grumman -- alone split over $50 billion

During the bombing of Iraq, 100,000 innocent Iraqi civilians lost their lives. And the daily carnage continues. More than 1,840 U.S. troops have died in Iraq since the invasion.

What a wonderful gift for the Merchants of Death....the Arms Manufacturers! A War that can't be won, and a War that can't be brought to an end!

Good Christian men, rejoice,
With heart and soul, and voice;
Now ye hear of endless bliss:
Jesus Christ was born for this!
He hath oped the heavenly door,
And man is blessed evermore.
Christ was born for this!
Christ was born for this!

The Republican Congress is now working on revising all high school history textbooks, to eliminate references to The Bill of Rights, which has been abnegated by The patriot Act. And at the sugggestion of Dick Cheney, they are working on a Bill to replace the National Anthem with a well-known Christmas Carol:

You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town

He's making a list,
And checking it twice;
Gonna find out Who's naughty and nice.
Santa Claus is coming to town

He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake!

O! You better watch out!
You better not cry.
Better not pout, I'm telling you why.
Santa Claus is coming to town.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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