Written by Don Fulsom

Thursday, 10 March 2011

Newt Gingrich today blamed his past marital cheating on getting so caught up in his crusade to better "America and her ideals," as he put it, "that I started surrendering my body to political groupies on the road."

The potential GOP presidential candidate added: "My idealism and my devotion to my country got the better of me and I strayed too far from God and I forgot to follow my brain instead of my bulging pants."

In preparation for another possible presidential run, Gingrich has switched to Catholic and been forgiven his carnal sins during several confessional sessions, church authorities have blabbered off the record.

In an unusually blunt interview with the Catholic Guardian, Gingrich declared: "I have a serious sexual dysfunction anyway now, so don't worry about me becoming a carnal sinner again."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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