Written by Bureau

Tuesday, 15 February 2011

image for Social Security Checks to be Cut in Half!
"Old Farts Crossing" signs being replaced.

In an agreement after a hard fought battle, both the President and the Republican-led congress have agreed to "bite the biggun" and cut millions of social security checks in half, beginning on July 1st, the start of the 2012 fiscal year.

"Of course, we older people in congress and the senate have our retirement assured, we feel the pain of our older and handicapped population. However, we could no long support this system as it is without the crash of the whole United States economy", stated one of the vipers that we elected recently.

Another one we elected two years ago nodded in agreement.

"It's going to be rough, but our elders are the the group the most used to abuse", he declared. "Aren't many of them from the 'Greatest Generation' and others from the 'Hippy Drug-Taking Generation'?"

Thus far, no one has had the balls to announce any further cuts. They may do those without any announcements at all.

One thing that was anonymous was the end of all foreign aid.

"How can we ask our own people to make sacrifices and send money to another country?", argued President For Now Obama.

So beginning in July, 2011, all social security checks received will be cut in half on the first of the month. The other half will arrive around the 15th.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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