Lindsay Lohan Banned from Jewelry Stores

Funny story written by Don Fulsom

Thursday, 10 February 2011

Alleged shoplifter Lindsay Lohan says she will obey a judge's order "to maintain a distance of 300 feet from all jewelry stores at all times."

The troubled ex-starlet is accused of stealing a $2,500 necklace from a Hollywood jeweler.

"I agree with the judge," Lohan told reporters after the lenient sentence was imposed.

"I guess this will put a stop to many of the stupid, greedy decisions I sometimes make when I am in such stores." Asked whether that means she's stolen other jewelry, Lohan started, "Well, there were a few times …" But, at that point, Lohan's lawyer quickly ended the q-and-a session.

As her lawyer led her away from the microphones and cameras, Lindsay pointed at the lawyer and shouted, "He's the one who told me to dress like a floozie for my court appearance."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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