Wikileaks Finally Releases Documents Americans Care About

Funny story written by Buck E Filbert

Monday, 6 December 2010

image for Wikileaks Finally Releases Documents Americans Care About
"Don't be afraid of opposition. Remember, a kite rises against, not with the wind."

Wikileaks, the watchdog site that exposes government secrets has finally released a new round of documents that Americans are interested in.

The last round of documents revealed that diplomats and politicians are a bunch of back biting, gossip mongers that would put most sewing circles to shame.

It's not like we didn't all know that already. Government officials are human and are expected to fall into the same temptations as people outside of elected office.

Now Wikileaks released new documents that I'm sure old and young alike will be interested in.

1. The Roswell UFO incident, In July 1947 a UFO crashed outside of Roswell, New Mexico. Military officials claimed the debris from the crash was a weather balloon. It was not a weather balloon at all and the military went over the crash site with a fine toothed comb eliminating any evidence. From there the spacecraft was taken to Roswell Military Base and was then transferred to the non-existent secret base Area 51. They have been reverse engineering the craft ever since. That's where a lot of our sophisticated technology was developed.

2. The JFK Assassination, Documents reveal there were 3 shooters that day, implicating everyone from the CIA to the highest elected officials. A cae du ta was initiated to let America in the Vietnam war.

3. The Gulf of Tonkin, August 4, 1964, An incident involving USS Maddox and USS Turner Joy engaging radar targets they believed were from the North Vietnamese patrol boats. On August 2nd the Maddox was actually attacked. this combined with another report that the Maddox was once again attacked on August 4th gave President Lyndon B. Johnson the go ahead to authorize retaliatory air strikes and Americanize the war by sending in ground troops.

Problem is there was no second attack, August 4th, on the Maddox creating a false flag operation.

4. Santa Claus, Lifted from Dutch legend, Santa Claus has been bastardized into an advertising ploy to sell more toys during the holidays. Parents or adults actually eat the cookies left out for Santa.

5. The Tooth Fairy, The Tooth Fairy is not really the great Fairy everyone thinks, the Tooth Fairy actually eats baby teeth, that's his food. The only reason he leaves money or gifts for teeth is he knows where you left them under your pillow and thinks it's a fair exchange for a snack.

6. The Easter Bunny, The Easter Bunny is another ploy by companies to sell product. Plain and simple.

Think about it, where do bunnies get eggs? Shouldn't it have been the Easter Chicken?

Yes, there are two, two, two mints in one, Crazy Eddie's prices are indeed INSANE and finally Cal Worthington will fer sure eat a bug, while sitting on his dog Spot, to sell you a car.

These are the things that really make Americans curious so now you know.

From Sunset and Vine
Buck E Filbert

Somewhere thinkin:
"The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is working"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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