Olbermann May Return After Anger Management Classes

Funny story written by bob42

Saturday, 6 November 2010

image for Olbermann May Return After Anger Management Classes
MSNBC reaches out to republicans?

NEW YORK (AP) Several days after indefinitely suspending Keith Olbermann, host of the popular 'Countdown' program, MSNBC issued a press release outlining the conditions for his possible return.

In addition to completing a course on anger management, the press release listed several other educational seminars that Olbermann's return also hinges upon, including a religious tolerance course offered by Glenn Beck University, and a "Fair and Balanced" seminar led by Bill O'Reilly.

When asked if any program format changes were included as conditions for his return, an MSNBC spokesperson replied, "In addition to completing anger management classes and other helpful education, Mr. Olbermann will have to agree to some minor changes intended to portray the program as less assertive and aggressive. For example, the name of the program will be changed to 'Breathe Deeply and Slowly Countdown' and the 'Worst Persons in the World' segment will be known as 'Three People I Respectfully Disagree with.'"

The spokesperson continued, "Mr. Olbermann must agree to content review prior to airtime. But in fairness, MSNBC will exert no editorial control over the 'Special Comment' segment that closes the show, and Olbermann will be free to write anything he likes. However, his words will be read on the air by a randomly selected second grader wearing a Hello Kitty costume."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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