The Pachyderm Pooper Scoopers of America (PPSA) Local 443 in Freemont, California has reported a marked increase in the number of elephant pooper scoopers being hired across the country to clean up in the run up to the mid-term elections. Republicans, not intent on spending their hundreds of millions of dollars on fake elephant suits are hiring the real deal to parade up and down America's Main Streets with various American Flag symbols and campaign slogans painted on their bodies.
Union spokesperson Jimmy "Jumbo" Pyle claims that in the history of the union there has never been more of a demand for hiring like this. He admits that it has been a sweet ride whose time is going to be up soon, but everyone who has made their money by getting the extra gigs is happy. "There isn't much call these days for what we do," said Pyle. "With circuses going bankrupt and zoos hiring their own pachyderm experts, we mainly have to rely on these special GOP events to keep us busy and then scooping up various other types of poop the rest of the year."
Pyle, an Obama supporter, claims he's pleased as punch that the GOP is using more elephants to bring their message home. "Who said small businesses are suffering in America? I got me a hundred or so members of the PPSA who would disagree with that right now."
Asked what will happen once the elections are over, Pyle said he's not sure. "We're hoping our members can pick up jobs scooping other animals' poop. That's the good thing about pooper scooping. There is plenty of the stuff everywhere you step. Just a lot more during election time."
