Los Angeles, CA -- As Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi was going through the body-scanning machine at Los Angeles International Airport, her vibrating underwear "just went nuts," according to an eyewitness, "she started twisting her legs, grabbing her hair and moaning, Oh!yes, Steny, yes!" "It went on for about a minute," said another witness, "Before security whisked her behind a screen and offered her a wet towel and a cigarette."
When asked about the incident, an aide shrugged and said, "The speaker was just doing an imitation of that whore Meg Whitman and apologizes for lighting a cigarette in a non-smoking area."
A spokeswoman for Hoo-ah! the maker of 'Scent of a Woman' vibrating underwear and the popular 'Singing Happy Birthday' underwear said, "we have never had problems, going through airport security, with any of our products." She did cite an incident, several years ago, when a nun's 'Singing Happy Birthday' underwear accidentally went off during a private audience with the Pope. It was later found that, "she was also wearing an adult diaper that leaked." adding, "it's clearly marked that adult diapers and/or sex toys are not to be worn with this product."
When asked to comment, House Minority Leader John Boehner said, "This is exactly why the American people are fed up with this administration and the leadership of the Democratic Party - their stimulus is directed in the wrong places."