State of North Carolina Converting I-95 to a Gravel Road in Bid to Save Budget

Written by Mr Dovie

Saturday, 2 October 2010

image for State of North Carolina Converting I-95 to a Gravel Road in Bid to Save Budget

The recession is over but the North Carolina Department of Transportation has decided to convert it's 200 miles of I-95 to a gravel surfaced highway in a bid to save the states' floundering budget.

After several meetings earlier this year the general consensus was summed up as, "We like this plan for converting roads back to gravel.

It restores a rural aesthetic to communities." "New technology allows asphalt to be recycled into a durable gravel-like surface that is cheaper to maintain and adequately prevents potholes and mud, said David Creamer, a field operations specialist at the Center for Dirt and Gravel Road Studies at Pennsylvania State University." Not only will North Carolina save millions of dollars which could be better spent on junkets to Barbados, but it is hoped that slower speeds will save lives, force travelers to spend more time in-state and hence spend more money.

The jarring nature of this gravel will help the auto repair industry and may induce people to vie for high speed rail services which are currently underused.

It is also hoped that unsavory motorcyclists will go elsewhere when they spin out in all the loose gravel.

It should also reduce smoking in automobiles since cigars will be bitten in half as soon as unwary travelers hit the state Welcome signs and motorists will have to pull over to a stop to relight any smoking materials.

Governor Beverly Perdu was quoted saying, "The flow of illegal drugs will also be reduced when would be smugglers are forced to drive at 45 miles per hour through our state."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more