Deaths Put Damper on Hell, Michigan World Record Funeral Procession

Funny story written by Charpa93

Thursday, 23 September 2010

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A car club in Hell, Michigan known as 'Just Hearse'N Around' failed to get enough hearses together to beat the world record for world's longest funeral procession. It was determined that around 50 hearses were needed to break the record, but due to circumstances beyond anyone's control, only 43 hearses were available that day to join in the procession.

Darryl Grimm, owner of Grimm Memorial Chapel had five hearses running in the procession that day and admits that they had three more hearses they could have used to bring the total up to at least 46, but they were being used in funerals.

Organizers of the funeral procession say they are going to try again in a month or two. Fred M. Balmer, owner of Hell's other funeral parlor, Balmer Brothers Funeral Home, says that November is a good month to try the procession again. "For some reason, there are less deaths in November, and barring any unforeseen circumstances, I think we can probably bank on getting that title without having to rearrange any funerals around it."

Grimm agreed. "If the procession would have been going down Main Street in the direction of the Heaven in Hell Cemetery, I think we could have just loaded them up and joined in the procession and nobody would have been the wiser. But the procession had already been planned to go down Chestnut and then onto Maple and that woulda taken us way out of our way and there's just no way that the families of the deceased would have gone for it."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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