Osama Bin Laden has asked the American Government for assistance with flood relief in Pakistan.
In an undated and unconfirmed taped statement found floating in the floodwaters of Pakistan, the Taliban leader pleaded to the kindness of the US Government. "All our caves are underwater, our bomb making material's have been washed away, and I beg you to help us. We are cave less now and I know deep down that we can count on the US people to help us in our time of need."
A US government official, who denied the following statement, stated that the US Government has agreed to assist the Taliban leader:
"Without these terrorist we wouldn't have any reason to continue our wars against them. Think about what that would do to the world economy. The ten billion dollars' in aid we have agreed to send to Osama Bin Laden, is well worth continuing our global war on terrorist. It is cheaper than ending the war and bringing our troops home.
"Hell, we spent that much last week when we ended the ground war in Iraq and brought those soldiers home. What are we suppose to do with them now? Does the American public really want the Government to pay these soldiers so that they can lie around here in the states and do nothing? WE MIGHT AS WELL LAY THEM OFF AND PUT THEM ON WELFARE!
"I say we continue our fight on Global Terrorist and send these returning troops to Afghanistan. It would have saved the US tax payers Billions of dollars if we would have flown them to Afghanistan from Iraq, instead of bringing them all the way back here to only do nothing and see their families."
"Well… ok." This reporter is at a lost with this idiotic Official. As I write this article from my jail cell. "I was arrested for expressing my freedom of speech when I called the official a nincompoop ass-hole before I hit him." I wonder; why in the hell did we elect these idiots.
