When you want a hot dog, a soft drink or a slurpee, you head down to your nearest 7-Eleven. When you want to skive off work all Friday, listen to anti-American diatribe, discuss new ways to "gently beat" your wife or arrange to honour kill your daughter's boyfriend, you can head down to your nearest 9-Eleven.
That's the idea behind the new Ground Zero Mosque, the American Extremist League is hoping to build on the site of America's worst ever act of terrorism. This will be the flagship mosque for the new franchise, and the idea is spreading. It is hoped that by the end of next year there will be 9-Elevens in many towns across the United States.
Local residents have tried to stop the building of the Manhattan structure, but have been opposed by the local Mayor and even the President of the United States of America, who would like to see 9-Elevens on every street corner.
The CEO of 9-Eleven insisted that the mosques will be open to everyone, though non-terrorists will either have to convert to our extremist ways and marry their wife's sister or else come in with a terrorist kidnapper.
