Jesse Jackson In Stupidity Rehab After Remarks Concerning LeBron James

Funny story written by anthonyrosania

Tuesday, 13 July 2010

image for Jesse Jackson In Stupidity Rehab After Remarks Concerning LeBron James
Lindsay Lohan, a graduate of the Clinic, gives the experience two cigarette-stained thumbs up!

Rev. Jesse Jackson, the oft-arrested, misspeaking civil rights activist and Baptist minister, has been for check into stupidity rehab, after blasting Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert, comparing him to a "slave master."

Sources state that a Los Angeles Court committed Rev. Jackson to the Paris Hilton Rehabilitation Center For The Involuntarily Idiotic in Fresno, CA., following Rev. Jackson's taking to task Gilbert's open letter to the fans of James, wherein Gilbert calls James "selfish" for signing with the Miami Heat.

During a CNN interview, Jackson said of Gilbert, "He speaks as an owner of LeBron and not the owner of the Cleveland Cavaliers. His feelings of betrayal personify a slave master mentality. He sees LeBron as a runaway slave."

In its findings of fact the Court stated: "The Reverend's recent claim that the owner of the Cavaliers saw James as a 'slave' is reprehensible."

"The Court is also mindful that, in 2008, while discussion President Obama in an interview,Rev. Jackson stated, 'See, Barack's been talking down to black people ... I want to cut his nuts off.' "

Jackson will spend a minimum of 90 days in rehab, where guest lecturers such as Kanye West and Jessica Simpson will discuss how to not come off as the world's biggest buffoon.

"There is nothing we can do about Rev. Jackson's stupidity," said doctors from the Clinic. "He will always be a flaming dipsh-t. What we teach is ways to keep the stupid people quiet. We've managed to do so for Dustin Diamond, Audrina Patridge and Tila Tequila, so I have no doubt we'll be able to help Jackson."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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