Written by Chuck Terzella

Saturday, 2 April 2005

image for George W. Bush Takes Credit For Astounding Jobs Growth
"Hi, I'm George and people love me...Hi, I'm George and people love me..."

The Administration of President George W. Bush has formally received credit for the creation of tens of millions of new jobs; unfortunately for Americans, all of those jobs have been in Mexico, China and India. As a result, the families of immigrants to the United States who have stayed behind in their home countries have now taken to sending money to their relations in the U.S. to help keep them alive. This reverse flow of cash into the United States scenario, a diametric change from the tradition of immigrant families sending part of their wages back to their families in what were once poor developing countries has luckily for George Bush had the unintended effect of bolstering the American economy; with the rise in strength of the Rupee, Peso and Yuan to a level almost equal to the weakening Dollar, the United States is hoping that the influx of these currencies will help stave off bankruptcy until George W. Bush leaves office in 2008. The hope then is by that time a Democrat will have been found that can take the blame for Republican economic failures, prefferably Hillary Clinton or Ted Kennedy.

However, not everyone is pleased with this startling new turn of events. Immigrants who came to the United States in the Seventies, Eighties and Nineties in the hopes of creating a better life for themselves in this country as well as being able to send money home to relatives left behind are feeling betrayed and more than a little stupid.

Hiranya Singh, who arrived in the United States from New Delhi in 1987 to work in the then burgeoning high tech industry said, " I just can't believe it. I came here, could barely speak any English, with like, eighty bucks in my pocket and worked my tail off to build a life. By the time I had been here for ten years I had a great job in Silicon Valley, a five thousand square foot home, a Beemer and a Jag, two kids, a wife and a blond American mistress. Life was great. I was sending money to my parents, my aunts and uncles, my cousins. My whole family thought I was God. But ever since Bush took office I lost the house and now I drive a used Hyundai. The blond mistress is gone and the kids have moved back to Calcutta in the hopes of finding a decent job that doesn't involve flipping burgers and I have to ask the folks back home if they can front me gas money. So much for the American Dream."

The Bush Administration, sensitive to the fact that people in these developing countries are more satisfied with his jobs creations programs and the falling dollar than United States voters, have begun the process of pushing legislation that would allow citizens of those nations to vote in the 2008 Presidential election in the hopes of keeping a Republican in the White House.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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