Melissa Etheridge: It Was Better When We Couldn't Marry

Funny story written by anthonyrosania

Saturday, 3 July 2010

image for Melissa Etheridge: It Was Better When We Couldn't Marry
Too easy.

Fingernails-on-blackboard singer Melissa Etheridge will no longer French kissing with the vertical lips with her live-in butter gutter,Tammy Lynn Muncher, but Mr. Ethridge had to file legal documents with the court to formally end her relationship with her.

Etheridge filed a document called a Petition for Dissolution of Domestic Partnership in L.A. County Superior Court.

Etheridge and Michaels had an elaborate "Yours is th only box I'll tounge-rub" ceremony in 2003, and then registered as domestic partners in California. This registration meant that the only way Melissa could go back to slit-gring to Cher records in gay bars as a free woman was to file the dissolution papers.

Etheridge cites the heretofore unheard-of cause of action for the dissolution, "trout-panties" as the reason she's sending the dutiful donut-bumper packing.

"It was easier before the domestic partnership thing," said Ethridge, while dry-humping the Hawaiian Tropics Girls 2010 calendar. "Now I have to tell the court that I want to be lap-lapping with someone else.

Jointly owned possessions divided up in the "divorce" include 24 pairs of aviator glasses, a poster of Michelle Rodriguez, a Timberland boot collection, seasons 1-4 of "The L word," and their hand-held, directional shower head.

Calls to Jodie Foster, Cindy Crawford, Sharon Gless, Linda Hamilton, Helen Hunt, Janet Jackson, Kelly McGillis, Dolly Parton and Oprah for comment were not returned.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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