Helen Thomas, the irascible old wombat who recently retired from the White House press corp, dropped a bomb buster today with her claim that Supreme Court nominee, Elena Kagan, is her son, sired by former FBI Director, J. Edgar Hoover.
Noting the striking resemblance between Hoover and her son; the menacing eyebrows and hanging jowls, Ms. Thomas said that Hoover's image as a "tough guy" was over rated but that he did carry heat, even in bed. She said Hoover was so concerned that the media would find out about his clandestine affair with her that he allowed the story of his being a cross-dresser to be circulated without rebuttal.
After giving birth to Elena, they decided to adopt him out to the Kagans, who raised him as their own. Now that Hoover is dead and her career over, Helen Thomas said it was time to clear the record.
She hopes that Kagan, who was raised a Jew, will now realize that he is actually a Lebanese Presbyterian and denounce his old religion.
