Written by Bureau

Tuesday, 22 June 2010

image for Van Der Sloot Is Mentally Ill, Says Mother!

The mother of Joran van der Sloot claims her son is mad as a hatter according to his mother's friend and apparent spokesperson, Pasel de la Schlep.

"Joran was always talking in a silly little wheezy voice and eating flies while he was growing up", the friend of the family quoted Mrs van der Sloot,

According to the friend, Joran's mother, Anita van der Sloot had told her that she wanted to get the full story out.

Pasel then stated that Anita's son had become worse after watching "Sling Blade", that it had stopped the fly eating but began a ten year period of eating potted meat and biscuits with mustard.

Apparently little Joran changed his voice to that of Karl in the movie until his friends laughed him out of doing that. Still he often spent hours looking in the potted meat for peckers."

Anita van der Sloot also stated that Joran had always felt insecure about his name containing two small letters and believe that made him impotent on many occasions.

"The kids at school called him 'Little vd'. Kids can be so cruel," stated de la Schlep.

So why is his mother having someone speak up for her and her son after all this time?

"She wants the people in Lima, Peru to know that he's not responsible. That he needs to be sent to a mental institution. Maybe get him off the potted meat and biscuits with mustard."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.

Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
50 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more