Supreme Court Nominee Shows A Lot By Body Language Says Frenchman

Funny story written by Bureau

Monday, 14 June 2010

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In the photographs of supreme court nominee Elena Kagan sitting and chatting in various Capitol Hill offices, she doesn't appear to ever cross her legs.

According to a French expert, this is highly significant as she shows that her private life is completely separate from her life in politics.

"She is very closed", stated Paul Labonte, who claims to be an artist of the study of body language. "The committee, they will get little from her except what she thinks is appropriate to her job and not her personal life."

"Believe me", I know these things", stated Labonte.

Kagan's posture stands out because for so many women, when they sit, they cross their legs or at least, their ankles.

"People tend to mimic each other's body language during a conversation, especially if they're trying to connect with one another. But even when Kagan was sittings across from Senator Amy Klobuchar, who has her legs crossed at the knees, Kagan keeps both feet planted firmly on the ground. Her body language will not be bullied into conformity."

"She is also a very modest woman", stated Labonte.

After Labonte's departure and someone else could get a word in, our own reporter, Tooter Day, asked the Supreme Court nominee if she didn't mind telling them why she never crosses her legs.

"I leave my legs open as a tribute to our great President Bill Clinton. That is one hunk of a man. How I envy those bimbos."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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