"Sure it's an honor to be nominated for the U. S. Supreme Court," Kagan admitted yesterday to a reporter, continuing, "but I hate all the stuff that goes with it."
Standing only three inches over five feet, Kagan had been nicknamed "Shorty" by the late Justice Thurgood Marshall, and nobody will let her forget that. It's been nothing but Shorty this and Shorty that, as Kagan moves through the long process of Presidential nomination and Congressional approval. "Would you believe," she said, "that when the President was working on a list of nominees, he had the nerve to call it the Short List."
There was more to come. When Kagan visited the offices of Congressional leaders for the requisite 'chats' this week, they were all playing on their stereos Randy Newman's song, "Short People." The part of the chorus that goes "Don't want no short people . . ." infuriated Kagan.
But even worse is this section of one of the verses:
They got little hands
Little eyes
They walk around
Tellin' great big lies
Now Kagan worries that her short stature may interfere with confirmation chances. Just to be on the safe side, she bought herself a pair of platform shoes. Also, at her confirmation hearings, she'll be sitting on high pillows and wearing a nice 'tall' Uncle Sam-type hat that will add several inches to her height.
