FACT: The last person to give a s-it about Little Orphan Annie died in 1977. 86 years after the first time her pupil-less eyes were published, the bitch got fired.
In her final appearance today, printed in something called a "newspaper", which, apparently, is how the internet was delivered to people's houses in the 20th century, the poorly drawn, redheaded abortion survivor didn't receive a happy ending or a warm reunion with her deep-pocketed serial rapist, Daddy Warbucks.
Instead the story ended where it had been centered for three years: in Panau, where Annie traded the hard knock New York City life to become an opium addicted sex slave for Bolo Santosi, the ruthless head of a revolutionary group known as the Reapers.
Annie's life is further complicated by her relationship with a man only identified as The Scorpio, a mercenary for hire who is working with The Reapers to overthrow Panau's president, Baby Panay.
Long-time readers were shocked when Little Orphan Annie broke many unwritten rules about conduct in comics. Annie is credited for being the first cartoon character to show pubic hair, (Yes, the rug matches the drapes.) as well as the first to show drug use, self inflicted gunshot wounds and anal.
Her publisher had this to say: "It was too much. We had to fire her. We had just cause, too."
