Written by ilikefun1981

Saturday, 12 March 2005

President Bush on Wednesday demanded that Wal-Mart pull all of their stores out of the United States by May.

"The American people have a right to determine which stores they want to shop at without being influenced by the amazing low prices of Wal-Mart," Bush said.

President Bush used a wide-ranging speech at the National Offense University to support his policy that Americans should not be under the control of what he called, "The last breath of communism."

"Across the United States a critical shift has taken place. Americans have expressed a desire to be freed from the retail juggernaut. And instead have the freedom to choose products of less quality, and at higher prices," he said.

Chief Executive Lee Scott vowed today that Wal-Mart would comply with Bush's demands. Most experts agree the sudden withdrawal is a direct reaction to the Bush preemptive war policy.

Experts also agree that with the withdrawal of Wal-Mart the economic freeze the United States has endured may now thaw. "Economic progress has been has been frozen for decades," Bush said, "Yet at last, suddenly, the thaw has begun."

In the last six months a economic movement has been growing in strength in rural America. With the fall of Kmart in 2002 and the impending defeat of Wal-Mart the economic situation in the United States has made a drastic turn.

Bush said that an end must come to Wal-Mart's 38 year occupation of rural America or they will become isolated by the rest of the world.

Chinese Minister of Foreign Trade and Economic Cooperation Shi Guangsheng responded to Bush's comments by saying, "Efficient and cheap distribution of products would fit nicely with the communist ideology of China."

"For us to have hope in middle America we have to have a new way of thinking. By now it should be clear that the lowest price product may not be the best choice," he said.

In Bentonville Arkansas a pro Wal-Mart demonstration broke out when 19 million illegal immigrants gathered in the small town to show support of Wal-Mart's friendly illegal immigrant policy.

Bush also warned the retain chain Target that even with a power vacuum in the region he will not tolerate their retail ambitions either.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Wednesday, Wal Mart

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