Critical Mass redux: "Nuns are traffic, too!"

Funny story written by Amethyst Ryder

Thursday, 10 June 2010

image for Critical Mass redux: "Nuns are traffic, too!"
The good Sisters of the Good Earth: Raising consciousness, one step at a time.

In a new campaign to get automobiles to share the road, Catholic sisters are marching side by side in city streets to proclaim: "Nuns are traffic, too!"

The movement, dubbed "Critical Mass, Novus Ordo," was inspired by a similar movement initiated by bike riders some years earlier.

"We gathered in prayer one evening at the Mother Earth House," said Sister Rainforest Activia of the Eco-Franciscan Sisters of the Good Earth, headquartered in Comida Buena, California. "After twenty minutes of communal meditation and harmonization of our energies, we collectively raised awareness among ourselves and shared a visionary consensus that we needed to raise awareness of the environmental, physiological, and spiritual benefits of walking."

"Cars need to share the road with sisters, and with other pedestrians," added Sister Cleanwater Justicia. "That's our message, in a sunflower seed shell."

Eschewing their habitual fair-trade hemp T-shirts and organic cotton jeans, the sisters chose, when marching, to adopt the iconic long black "penguin suit" habits of yesteryear.

"It's street theater, plain and simple," said Sister Locavore Organica.

Critical Mass, Novus Ordo takes to the streets on all First Fridays, Holy Saturdays, Lunar Phases, and Solstices and Equinoxes.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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