BP Insider Says That Well Leaked Much Worse Than It's Telling People!

Funny story written by Bureau

Thursday, 27 May 2010

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Will people have to leave the Gulf area?

An insider who still works at BP, our own "Deep Float", says that the leak was much worse than they have told anyone, even the U.S. President, and that it may still be coming up from around the well.

"This is easily the Mother Of All Oil Spills", stated the source. "BP may sink with it. If so, I want first shot at a book."

We told him we would be glad to help with the book, should BP go under.

"They are absolutely frantic and I'll tell you why."

#1. They are going to be fined through the roof, especially when all the details come out.

#2. They had plenty of time to study what a leak on the ocean floor would mean but they didn't take the time. They could have experimented with divers and released colored water to trace, in a remote area.

#3. If they hadn't blown it, this may be a bigger oil strike that the ones in Saudi Arabia. This thing will probably keep gushing oil until they DO find a way to permanently stop it.

Finally, the source stated that since the "Top Hat" strategy that was tried didn't work, a process they call "Tails" with all the mud finally got it down, shows that that they plan to keep on dancing around any major questions as long as they can.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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