"Fahgetaboutit!" Goldman Sachs to US Congress

Funny story written by b kenneth mcgee

Wednesday, 28 April 2010


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As the executive from Goldman Sachs sat down at the witness table in front of US Senators yesterday, the air was tense.

Before the cameras were turned on, including those of c-span the executive spoke directly to the assembled legislators.

"Now let me tell you something," he said, "before this carnival show begins and the cameras are turned on, you work for me as I am a US citizen and pay taxes. More importantly, you work for me because I pay you. And pay you well, I might add. I understand that you have to put on this dog and pony show for the benefit of the folks back home but unless you want to figure out a way to live on that measly $175,000 you make each year I'd watch my actions when it comes to a vote. My file clerk makes more than that and gets my coffee too. So, let's get started but remember this, the shitty deal stops here."

Senator Carl Levin started to speak as the cameras were turned on. "Sir," he said, "you and your Wall Street gang are a disgrace to this country."

As Senator Levin started a ten minute monologue on the evils of Wall Street, the executive smiled ever so slightly and under the witness table and out of sight of the cameras extended his middle finger to the assembled Senators.

In other breaking news, Native Americans in Arizona are sporting new T-shirts that read: "Who's The Illegal Alien?" and "Geronimo Has My Papers."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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