Gordon Brown: The Terminator.

Funny story written by SpoofyDoofy

Tuesday, 27 April 2010

image for Gordon Brown: The Terminator.
The Financial Terminator, the unstoppable cyborg financial assassin, Gordon Brown.

London, ENGLAND: Nothing can stop the seemingly unstoppable cyborg financial assassin Gordon Brown, who has been sent back from the year 2029 by a collective of artificially intelligent computer-controlled machines bent on the financial extermination of Britain.

The Terminator's mission is to destroy private pensions, financial stability, deregulate the banks, allow a mushroom cloud of debt, then print billions of pounds of 'monopoly money'.

The Terminator tracks down all private business and personal investments abroad using the Inland Revenue, whilst shouting "I have saved the world!"

This Brown Terminator screwed America and Britain by his 1997 splitting of bank regulation into three disparate bodies, the Treasury, Bank of England and the FSA, and creating 'light-touch' but in reallity non-existent regulation.

In accordance with the Terminator plan, none of them knew what they or the others were supposed to be doing and consequently none of them noticed the queues outside Northern Rock developing into the first run on a UK bank for a century.

This non-existent bank regulation by the Brown Terminator attracted so many US banks to move their operations to London that President Clinton was forced in 2000 to repeal the Glass-Seagall Act introduced by Roosevelt in 1933 which had separated Main St banking from merchant banking in the US. This took the lid off just as GW Bush, the friend of every speculator on Wall St waltzed into the White House and we all know what happened next, don't we?

Brown, The Terminator screwed everyone, and Cameron and Clegg have been silenced, because they watched it happen and said nothing then, and have continued to say nothing since, as the Terminator cowers ALL.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more