The Pope Defends Priest against Alter Boys

Written by Albert-racer-X

Tuesday, 13 April 2010


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Members of ASS protesting outside of the Vatican

When asked about the celibacy requirements of priest and weather it leads to the abuse of alter boys, Pope Benedict XVI declined to give an answer.

The Vatican in response to the media questioning denied that its celibacy requirement for priests was the root cause of the clerical abuse scandal convulsing the church in Europe and again defended the pope's handling of the crisis.

Evidence showing that the celibacy rule was responsible for the "deviant behavior" of abusive priests have swirled in recent days, with volatile comments in German newspapers blaming it for fueling abuse and even Italian commentators questioning the rule.

James Abbot, a spokesman for ASS which stands for Alter-boy Sovereign Society, an organization founded by alter boys, said the Pope lied to the world when he said that celibacy is not responsible for the scandals between alter boys and priest.

Abbot argues that abuse of alter boys is a violation of celibacy rules and it's clearly an issue of celibacy. Abbot said, "The Pope has lost his credibility with the world for saying the scandal is not attributed to the violation of celibacy rules and the desires for soft skinned alter boys."

Much of the furor was spurred by comments from one of the pope's closest advisers, Vienna archbishop Cardinal Christoph Schoenborn, who called this week for an honest examination of issues like celibacy and priestly education to root out the origins of sex abuse.

Christoph said, while Catholic priests are enjoined to remain celibate, Muslim clerics are expected to marry and indulge heartily with their wives in the pleasures of the flesh. In many parts of the Muslim world, especially where folk are poor and uneducated, the local imam is the person many turn to for guidance on matters relating to sex and marriage.

Christoph said, the lives of many alter boys have been altered and many who belong to ASS are now engaged in deranged behavior attributed to the experiences they encountered with desperate priest.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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