Condoleezza Rice to star in Aunt Jemima biopic

Funny story written by ej moore

Sunday, 23 January 2005

image for Condoleezza Rice to star in Aunt Jemima biopic
Rice, as she will appear in the film

HOLLYWOOD - Condoleezza Rice today announced she has accepted the starring role in Jemima Power, the upcoming biopic centering on the life and times of America's best-recognized pancake lobbyist, Aunt Jemima.

Noting that politics is " no different than acting," Rice told reporters she was excited to be given such a challenging role.

"Playing the role of Aunt Jemima is a dream come true, and I revel in the fact that I won the role over every other black actress in the nation" she said. "I understand that Halle Berry begged producers for a chance to audition, but they obviously feel I am the best choice for the job."

However, Rice's role in the film wasn't easy for her co-stars to accept. It was only after days of special "meet and greet" sessions that they agreed she was capable of turning her small screen avenue creds into a sparkling big screen performance.

Although the life and times of Aunt Jemima were heretofore sketchy, Jemima Power writers Frank Fogg and Brian Bera delved into history to wring the truth from the past. After examining numerous journals, letters, and newspapers from the pre-Civil War South, Fogg and Bera exposed shocking facts, among them the revelation that Aunt Jemima was an only child.

"When we found there was no way she could've ever been an authentic aunt," said Fogg, "we almost scrapped the entire project."

Bera agreed. "It was unbelievable to uncover that she had been a relative pretender but the most shocking thing we found was the fact she lied about her pancake recipe."

As it turns out, Aunt Jemima appropriated her famous recipe from the kitchen of the family who owned her. Always an appetite pleaser, Aunt Jemima had been fearful that her own pancake recipe was not good enough for her owners so she simply adopted the concoction she knew would satisfy her Master's appetite.

But Bera and Fogg cite these inconsistencies about Aunt Jemima's legend as "the zings and zowees the audience will experience when they see the film."

"There are still more shocking things to come," promised Bera.

Currently in production with plans to begin shooting in May, Jemima Power has a planned release date of the summer of 2006.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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