Lost Ballots found in bulk mail file

Written by Michael Anglin

Saturday, 18 December 2004

image for Lost Ballots found in bulk mail file
The polling place wheer the ballots were copied to a CD

Seattle, Washington, The ability to place things onto a computer disc has resulted in a box of November second ballots being recorded to a CD and then lost. Frederick Fenwick the local judge for the district that lost the ballots said he wanted to keep the ballots as a souvenier for his part in the elections of 2004. Unfortunately he was unable to put them back where he had gotten them. His mother , Lucille Bernhardt Fenwick with whom Frederick still lives states "Little Freddy has never been able to put anything back. he is so careless."Fenwick was quick to blame his girlfriend Effie Edwards for talikng him into recording the ballots and then using them to see how people voted.

Unfortunately for Frederick the we misplace by someone and even though he was connected it was only by name. The ballots turned up today and now anongoing investigation will hopefully show how the ballots came to be missing.An investigation into Mr. Fenwicks mental capacities and his ability to handle pressure will ensue. FBI agent Jennifer Flagstone refused to comment on the ability of a person to lose ballots. she did say any one with any information regarding mr. Fenwicks affiliation with any radical groups would be accepted. However; Montgomery Montague the Fenwicks neighbor states "Maybe George bush did not win and that stupid nerd Freddy the Foolish was doing all he could to ensure that Bush would be in the white house for four more years."

Frederick says he never took the ballots out of the building and he did place them in a pastic bag in a box so they would not get destroyed by the weather.
Fenwick says he was quite sure he put the ballots back so that the Departent of Elections could pick them up to be properly destroyed. His girl frined Effie says she was also positive that he had checked and double checked to ensure that the ballots were stowed properly.

Mr. Fenwick when not helping the Department of Elections works for the King County School District teaching youngsters speech. He is instrumental in getting the students to say "Would you like fries with that sir?"

Mr. Fenwick has been suspended with pay awaiting an investigation as to how the ballots were not accounted for. Teh sheriffs Departement hass decl;ined to talk to the press and will release a statement once the investigation is over.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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