Eliot Spitzer Back As Governor Of New York

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Saturday, 6 March 2010

image for Eliot Spitzer Back As Governor Of New York
Back to business!

Following a two year sabbatical, former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer plans to resume office as the renewed and legally elected Governor of New York.

Judging from Governor Sanford's successful grip on the South Carolina governor's mansion, (even though confessing to having left his heart in Argentina) Governor Spitzer's resignation seems to have been premature. Spitzer quit too soon. Way too soon.

How the Feds were able to miss Bernie Madoff's $40 billion Ponzi scheme, but caught Spitzer's $8,000 check, clouds the imagination. As Cheney would say, "Big time."

Was it because Spitzer was also known as the Sheriff of Wall Street and promised to clean it up? More clouds. Hello?

Spitzer carried a big broom. As District Attorney, he broke up the Gambino family control of Manhatten's garment and trucking industry. As New York Attorney General, he prosecuted predatory practices by mortgage lenders, fraud at the American International Group, (A.I.G. remember them?) and the 2003 mutual fund scandal.

Sheriff of Wall Street? As Governor, he promised to clean up Wall Street, before all the bank failures, auto industry collapse, fraud at investment houses and second great depression. But the Feds just happened to trip across a $8,000 check and so much for Spitzer's big broom.

Following revelations of office practices by present New York Governor David Paterson, the timing for Spitzer's return to the Governor's mansion is just perfect. Seems Paterson didn't pay for opening day World Series tickets. Peanuts. However, Paterson did use state troopers to influence a witness against testifying in the domestic violence case of his close aide, David Johnson. Now them is big nuts, and impeachment growling is surfacing.

Fewer than half of New Yorkers want Governor Paterson to finish his term in office which will be over in December of 2010. That means more than half want him to resign right now. However, the Governor isn't making any announcements, though he is scheduled to speak at the grand new opening of a restaurant at J.F.K. On the menu? Maybe questions about his impending resignation?

Time now for Spitzer and his broom to resume office.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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