Written by K.C. Bell

Friday, 15 October 2004

image for Felon in White House
"Give us ten more months. Next question?"

Reporters around the country have been disappearing, not off the face of the earth, but from mainstream television news, after asking a single question of President Bush. It began when Tim Russert asked: Since the president is tough on terrorism and strong on security, why hasn't he located the individual in his administration who leaked C.I.A. undercover agent Valerie Plame's name to Bob Novak? Mr. Russert is now meeting the press from Butte, Montana. Following in Tim Russert's footsteps, Chris Mathews asked the same question. He is now covering the Japanese women's volleyball circuit. Feeling confident by his many successes, Matt Lauer raised the same question that Katie Couric is now asking, "Where in the world is Matt Lauer?" Andrea Mitchell also asked the question, however after a two point raise in interest rates by the Federal Reserve, it is rumored that she may soon reappear. Though nearing retirement and with an heir apparent in the wings, Tom Brokaw neglected to ask the president the greatest question of his generation.

Breaking the Intelligence Identities Protection Act, in this case revealing the name of Valerie Plame, is committing felony and treason. Mr. Novak revealed that he had two Administrative sources and by Administrative he means White House. Since the sources have not been apprehended, two felons are still working in the White House and may further compromise security. Could this truly be a president who is tough on crime, felons, treason, and terrorism?

Sensing that his time had come to speak and raise his voice in question, cerebral, soft spoken Aaron Brown stepped up to the plate, cracking the whip and spoke. Since the question was asked, the morning rooster no longer crows nor does the whip crack.

Felons in the White House? Treason in the White House? Soft on security in the White House? So many questions and so many places from which to report.

Hoping to get back into mainstream news, the head of XYZ News, broadcasting from Guam, insisted this story failed to ask the really hard questions, and ordered his reporter not to turn Michael Moore commie or Lou Dobbs outsourcing nuisance. "Go out there and get me what the people really want to know: Does Laura Bush wear a wig, and is Teresa Heinz Kerry really allergic to ketchup?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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