Tennessee Football Fans Savour Kiffin's Legacy: The Toilet Bowl!

Written by Morse

Friday, 15 January 2010


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Kiffin's Legacy Forever Enshrined in U.of Tennessee Trophy Case!

A dazed and confused student body from the University of Tennessee met at a late night wake on campus after the announcement that Football Ho Lane Kiffin had picked up and left town for the head coaching job at USC in the middle of the night, leaving only a surprise legacy for his 'fans'.

Students and administrators gathered around a huge bonfire, the school marching band, and an elevated dais in order to unwrap what many thought was a gift of thanks from Kiffin for giving him a place to hang is hat for about 400 days before he moved on to his next whistle stop along his Coaching Career.

Kiffin, who comprised a 2009 record of 7-6, including a blow out loss to Virginia Tech 37-14 in a bowl consolation game, stirred up a bunch of shit while in power at Tennessee, calling out respected coaches Urban Meyer at Fl, and Steve Spurrier at South Carolina, while building a team which eventually caught the attention of the NCCA, and the local police.

One fan in retrospect said the only high light of Kiffin's short tenure was his wife, who had a better body then most of the Tennessee cheerleaders!

His prior claim to fame was being an assistant to Pete Carroll at USC, and ultimately being fired by Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis after a rag tag season of confusion, alleged lies, and false bravado. Davis commented after Kiffin was hired at Tennessee that 'he would destroy that program!"

While Davis was considered "crazy' by many sportswriters for his assessment, his words hung in the air over the late night gathering, as the captain of the football team carefully unwrapped Kiffin's departing gift, which he said should be enshrined in the Athletic Hall of Fame along with other significant University trophies.

The rally, which began in mute silence and shock, soon turned to anger, when the final unwrapping revealed Kiffin's Legacy and Remembrance: THE TOILET BOWL! The white porcelain trophy was engraved with the 2009 record, and the inscription: Thanks for the Memories/ Lane Kiffin!

Athletic Director DeWayne "Bubba" Hardee, was so shocked, he said he had no other choice but to resign in disgrace. "Besides," he said, " I think Lane wants me to move to California if I can talk some of his recruits into coming with me!"

As police dispersed the crowd some where heard to ask, " Is Bobby Bowden still alive and available?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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