Written by Rebut

Thursday, 16 September 2004

image for Scott Peterson Quiz
Neighbours claimed the Peterson marriage was Rocky

Parents of pupils in American junior schools are outraged that their children are being forced to take tests on notorius criminals and other people accused of criminal acts. Take then as your example, the Scott Peterson test.

Lakeview Primary Pop Quiz - Multiple Choice. Please do not copy from the child next to you, chances are they are on drugs, less than gifted or dead, which is hard to pick up in the pupils of this school.

1. Scott Peterson is :

a) A Fertiliser salesman
b) A Fertiliser linguist
c) A Bad egg which smells like fertiliser
d) Fertiliser

2. Laci

a) Is his wife and alleged victim
b) Are the kind of panties Amber wears
c) Are the kind of panties Scott wears
d) -ness is akin to Devil worshiping.

3. Geragos is

a) An ugly bust tied to the front of 16th century ships
b) Peterson's attorney
c) Like Gangrene but they don't amputate
d) Russian finance minister

4. No DNA, blood or matching prints means

a) Scott is innocent
b) Geragos is guilty
c) Prosecutors are stoopid
d) Pin Kyo is OJ in disguise.

5. Repeated reference to a child/unborn child is

a) A concerted effort to bring Michael Jackson in
b) To inflame the jury
c) Bring in the 3-in-1 jab debate
d) Bring in a family feel

6.Amber Frey

a) Is Scott's mistress
b) Is Geragos mistress
c) Is Pin Kyo's lesbian lover
d) Is still missed by Judge Delucci

7. Sharon Rocha

a) Is an Israeli chocolate
b) Is Laci's mother
c) Is Scott's mistress
d) Is really linked to the Michael Jackson trial

8. Forensic Evidence

a) Is Proof of a foreigners vomit
b) Is what the prosecution doesn't have
c) Relates to court
d) Huh?

9. Keen angler means

a) Acute angle
b) Alibi
c) Eager hustler
d) Fishing for a dumping ground.

10. Hours of Scott and Amber tapes are :

a) Romantic
b) Seedy
c) Proof Peterson will fry his fish and get the needle
d) Available at all good retailers

If you have completed this portion of the test and have time left over, we have 4 bonus questions for you. Two from the OJ Simpson trial and Two from the upcoming Michael Jackson extravaganza.

OJ Simpson

1. Judge Ito is

a) A clown
b) An embaressment to the American legal system
c) A judge
d) A television personality.

2. OJ's gloves never fitted because :

a) They weren't his (NB Pigs fly 101 after quiz)
b) He had somehow made his hands swell
c) His hands are swell
d) The right angle on the square of the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the other two angles.

Michael Jackson

1. Michael is clearly innocent because :

a) The kids queueing up for paydays means he wouldn't get the chance to do other kids.
b) Michael like many other people hands out millions of dollars to kids that stay with him.
c) If the gloves don't fit don't wear 'em
d) Elizabeth Taylor is positive that Michael would never do anything wrong. Besides she's asked him for a few million and he's told her where to go.

2. Michael lives at

a) Neverland
b) Cloud Cuckooland
c) England
d) Disneyland

Please turn in your papers.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Parents, Criminal

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