A plane full of terrorists, bound for the United States from Holland, were subjected to hours of emotional abuse. There was the onboard arrest of an elderly lady and a young boy, an unprovoked attack on a fellow passenger by a Dutch tourist and then the plane was virtually taken over by the Van Trapp Family Singers.
The internationally famous singing group, The Van Trapp Family Singers were returning from an European tour,when they decided to treat their gloomy fellow passengers to a freak show. That show lasted an incredibly long four hours and included such standards as "Edelweiss", "My Favorite Things", "Climb Ev'ry Mountain" and "Do-Re-Mi", as well as German Christmas Dirges and Austrian Folk Songs.
The group danced up and down the aisles as devout Muslims tried to concentrate on their prayers. The singers also tried to engage passengers in sing-alongs, and "Rounds". A round is a musical composition in which two or more voices sing exactly the same melody but with each voice beginning at different times. The show lasted so long and was so bad that it caused a Dutch Tourist to go berserk and attack a suicide bomber in an attempt to blow himself up.
Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, an Al Qaeda Suicide Bomber who was on a weekend pass from the prison camp at Guantanamo Bay-which he earned for good behavior-was badly shaken by the ordeal and was sent to hospital. He was being treated for shock. The Dutch tourist was subsequently arrested for interfering with a Muslim Extremist on a commercial aircraft.
"The whole flight was a disaster!" exclaimed Mohamed Achmyjockiswrong(SIC),a Somalia native, "Not only was the singing and the unprovoked attack distressing, but even before the flight took off there was trouble!"
He was referring, of course, to the forcible removal of eighty-year-old Swedish Grandmother, Hilda Swanson, and six-year-old Michael Smith of Tuscan, Arizona, who was returning to the United States for his mother's funeral. The two had somehow made it passed security and were strapping themselves into their seats as guards approached, guns drawn. The guards handcuffed the pair and dragged them off the plane for questioning.
Mrs. Swanson was questioned at length and subsequently arrested for obstructing a peace officer when she refused to submit to a full body cavity search.
Michael Smith was also questioned at length. The teddy bear he was holding, a gift from his father-a decorated war hero who had died in Afghanistan during his fourth tour of duty-was ripped to shreds in front of the distraught lad in an attempt to find contraband. The boy was then arrested for causing a disturbance when he wouldn't stop crying.
President Obama, speaking from his vacation condo in Hawaii, decried the problems which occurred during the flight and promise he would do everything in his power to see that harassment of potential terrorists onboard flights bound for the United States would end.
Mr. Obama laid out new rules for Passengers flying into the United States including the use of pre-flight enemas and involuntary and random taser strikes on those who don't fit extremist profiles. He ended his statement by saying, "No terrorist should be so harassed or intimidated that they feel uncomfortable flying."
