Please, Somebody Kill Me!

Funny story written by Bureau

Wednesday, 16 December 2009

image for Please, Somebody Kill Me!

In October in Orange County, Calif., Charlie "Mac" Johnson, who had just been convicted of murder as a hit man for a white supremacist gang, begged the judge and jury, in all sincerity, to sentence him to death.

Why are more and more prisoners in Orange County, Calif. asking to be put on Death Row?

According to reports, California's death row inmates get individual cells and better telephone access, nicer contact-visit arrangements, and more personal-property privileges than ordinary inmates.

One California judge has even moved to another state.

"They come into the courtroom and you can tell they want the death penalty. One will sit there and cross his eyes at the jury, give them the finger and even pull his tie up over his head like he's being hung."

"When one guy on trial jumped up and told the jury he was going to kill and eat every one of them once he got free, I gave up."

According to the records there have been very few executions in the past 30 years although the "Row" is swollen in numbers.

Meanwhile, Charlie "Mac" Johnson has admitted to thirteen more murders by the third day of his trial.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more