Copenhagen - (Rooters) Fighting to be heard over chants of "Al Gore, shut your mouth!" and "Save our planet, gag Al Gore!" Dr. Johannes Finklestein, head of the UN Climate Summit finally released the truth about global warming. Dr. Finklestein, a fine sheen of sweat coating his face had to request quiet several times before the masses subsided.
"It has come to our attention that prior to January in 2001, there was no global warming taking place."
It seems coincidental that at that time Former Vice President Al Gore began to make his fortune by attempting to make everyone see that global warming was in its middle stages and that the world would end soon if we didn't do something about it.
Mr. Gore even blamed the gasses released by farm animals as one contributing factor in the accelerating CO2 increase that was leading to our ultimate demise. Mr. Gore was secretly tested recently and found to produce more hot air and green house gasses every time he opens his mouth than 200,000 cows farting in a field for a day.
Mr. Gore has stated, when confronted with the results of these tests that this was nothing more than 'pretend science of no value'. When asked if he would keep his mouth shut and stop trying to drive the world into a panic, he smiled and stated that we could shove that idea up our collective asses.
The more he talks that hotter it gets and the more people panic and the more money he makes. Global warming is a real threat as long as Al Gore continues to speak."
Mr. Gore refused to comment when we asked him for his thoughts on the subject. He did wave, however. With his middle finger anyway.